"What's in a Name?", Feature Article, April 2008

what's in a name?

The exchange of business cards with one's peers from the Far East is an exercise full of hidden meaning.

by Mia Doucet

My first lesson in the perils and pitfalls of cross-cultural exchanges took place in a corporate boardroom a few years ago. The CEOs of a Korean firm and a U.S. firm had met to discuss a potential joint venture partnership.

Toward the end of the meeting, the Westerner reached into the breast pocket of his navy blue suit, pulled out the Korean's business card and jotted down a piece of information—no doubt to jog him later. Now, Asians can be hard to read, but there was no mistaking the cool that wrapped itself around the room as the Korean executive choked off his displeasure. No deal was ever struck.

What had happened here?

Soon after, I embarked on what turned into 2,000 hours of interviews to piece together this cultural puzzle, and others, and to delve into the Asian mindset. With this boardroom episode in mind, I asked many Chinese, Japanese, and South Koreans why it was considered disrespectful to write on the back of a person's business card.

The consensus response, in a nutshell, was: Why would you ever write on the back of a person's card? This answer proves fascinating from the standpoint of human psychology. It just isn't done.

Westerners have a fairly casual relationship with their business cards. We have no problem if others write on our card. In fact, we're taught to write down information on a card so that we can later impress the other person by referring to a previous conversation. We do it without giving it a second thought.

A Matter of Dignity

To Asians, it's the height of disrespect to write on the back of someone else's card. They are also regularly shocked when Westerners throw their own business cards down on desks, or casually hand them over during introductions. That signals a lack of respect for oneself.

Sometimes called a "name card," the business card is an extension of oneself. It represents one's esteem, one's honor, and one's identity. That is why it must be treated with the utmost respect and care. This is more than a preoccupation with image.

So you can see what happened: The Westerner had inadvertently insulted his Asian counterpart. The Korean lost face. No further business was possible.

Under what circumstances is it okay to write on the back of the card?

Calvin Wang, a product engineer at Siemens VDO Automotive Inc., clarified the matter: "When you write on the back of your card and give it to somebody … that is a way to show close relation as you are adding more contact information (home number, cell number) that you do not want to share with others. It is especially nice if you do this to somebody below you or your customer." So if you choose to write on your own card, for your own reasons, there is no issue. The problem arises when you write on someone else's card.

Resist the Temptation

Here's the thing: Even if you wait until you're on your own to make notes on the card, it will come back to haunt you. That is because, when you meet again, you will be expected to have the card with you. It is poor protocol to ask for a card again the next time you meet.

The transfer of business cards is your first chance to get close to an Asian colleague. In the words of my client Joe Varghese, "It's a sincere moment. There are things in life you savor. Make this one of them."

The protocol for the business card exchange is well worth learning if you do not want to lose corporate face.

Business Card Protocol
+ Have bilingual business cards printed: Mandarin Chinese (gold ink is prestigious) or Japanese or Korean on one side, English on the other.

+ Never throw your business card on the desk or conference table. Since it has your personal and company name on it, treating it casually signifies disrespect for both yourself and the company you represent.

+ After the bow or handshake, present your card with both hands (it is disrespectful to present your card with one hand). Hold it between thumb and forefinger so that it's easy for the other person to read the print. If your card is bilingual—and it should be—present the Asian side.

+ Receive the other person's card with both hands. Study it for several seconds. My friend Joyce Guo said, "It will bring you good will when you look at the name and ask a question or make a positive comment about the person's school or company. It shows you are interested in the person." And make the effort to pronounce the person's name correctly.

+ Then place the card gently on the table in front of you. Do not write on it. Do not put it away during the meeting.

+ At the end of the meeting, do not put it into a pocket or wallet or throw it into your briefcase. Rather, place it neatly in your leather cardholder (never use plastic because that is low-status).

+ To get it right, you need to practice exchanging cards. It's a bit trickier than it sounds to hear oneself being introduced, bow or shake hands, avert the eyes, exchange cards, and absorb information on the card all at once.

Mia Doucet is the founder of Asia Mastery, a firm that advises technical companies dealing with cross-cultural issues in Asia. She is based in London, Ontario, and operates a Web site, www.miadoucet.com.